Rambo: Last Blood (Lionsgate)

Rated R for strong graphic violence, grisly images, drug use and language.

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Paz Vega, Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Adriana Barraza, Yvette Monreal, Genie Kim, Joaquín Cosío, Óscar Jaenada, Marco de la O, Fenessa Pineda, Díana Bermudez, Sheila Shah.

Written by Matt Cirulnick, Sylvester Stallone, and Dan Gordon, based on characters

by David Morrell.

Directed by Adrian Grunberg.

GRADE: C-

REVIEW:

There are so many movies in which the main moral is implied that it’s best to “let things go.” The irony is that many successful film franchises fail to practice what they preach, churning out sequel after sequel, even after main characters are (supposedly) dead. One character who refuses to die is John Rambo, made famous by Sylvester Stallone beginning with First Blood in 1982. Four movies later, he’s back in Rambo: Last Blood.

Following the events of Rambo (2008), our hero returns home to Arizona where he takes up operations on his family’s horse ranch. Present-day, Rambo plays father figure to Gabriela (Yvette Monreal), the 18-year-old granddaughter of family friend Maria (Adriana Barazza). Gabriela’s childhood friend Jezel calls her to share the whereabouts of her estranged father (Marco de la O) in Mexico. Despite Rambo and Maria’s warnings, Gabriela travels south of the border to reunite with her dad, who claims he abandoned her and her (now deceased) mother because he never loved them or wanted to see them again. Jezel tries to distract Gabriela from her grief by taking her to a sleazy club where members of a human trafficking cartel drug her and take her away to become a sex slave. When Rambo finds out, he races to Mexico where he tracks the cartel until they overcome him and beat him nearly to death. Meanwhile, Carmen (Paz Vega) a Mexican journalist whose sister was taken and killed by the cartel saves Rambo until he heals enough to mount another rescue attempt for Gabriela. His efforts prove fruitless, but he metes out a measure of revenge by killing a lot of bad guys, including one of the brothers in charge of the cartel. The other brother Hugo (Sergio Peris-Mencheta) leads a small army to Rambo’s Arizona doorstep, where the aging Viet Nam veteran and trained killer has bunkered down using all sorts of gruesome contraptions to wipe them out. If you’ve seen any Rambo movie, you kind of know how it’s going to end for the bad guys.

As I watched Last Blood’s battle finale inside the tunnels under the Rambo farm, I couldn’t help but notice that his methods of building painful contraptions out of every-day items were reminiscent of Home Alone, except instead of Kevin giving the “wet bandits” a little sharp pain, Rambo’s stuff was decidedly more deadly, intent on inflicting a maximum amount of mutilation in the process. An alternate title might have been “Rambo: Home Alone.”

All similarities to torture comedy aside, Rambo: Last Blood is a pointless revenge film with little redeeming value, except as a catalyst to re-launch another aging action hero series, much like how Schwarzenegger can’t let go of the Terminator. It’s also a good excuse to spill buckets of blood and turn faceless, countless minions into human hamburger.

If you get a lot of pleasure from merciless killing and vengeance, the latest Rambo movie is right up your alley. Otherwise, it’s nothing more than revenge porn and a waste of time.

Incidentally, if you think the “Last Blood” moniker is a hint that this will be the last Rambo film, be sure to stick around for the end credits as our hero takes a clichéd not-too-subtle ride into the sunset. He'll be back.